*sigh*

i don't know if i've tried hard enough to get you out of my world. i shut myself into a place wherein there was no you. i didn't want to get hurt anymore, maybe i got sick of it. i thought that was the best way to forget you. i thought everything about you will be repelled from my mind and heart. i thought i can handle it. i thought i can live without you.

or so i thought. maybe i was successful in my attempt to rid myself of the hurt and pain that you're causing me. but i realized i also did rid myself of the happiness of you. i was never happy trying not to get close to you. i fooled myself into the one thing i can never do; because even if i don't say it, this heart beats for you and only you. it is you who gives me a hundred more reasons to live this life. oh how i wish you'd feel the same way as i do. i wish i can make you see me as someone you'll choose to love. but i guess that'll just be an impossible dream. you'll just be an impossibe dream that i never can have. i can never be the star that lights up your darkest nights. i know this hurts a lot, but this is my choice. i'd rather be hurt by the one i love than be with someone else i don't even feel a thing with. this may take sometime to heal, and when that happens, i suppose time too will dry my tears.

in one way or another, i know i have to take a move on. but for now, you're the only living thing that keeps me up and aobut each and every day. so please, just stick around. that's all i ask of you.

Natasha Blanca Villanueva y Tenorio