lovin' it..

my shifting got accepted. ^________________^

all i need now is to wait for the final list of accepted applicants in the communications department.

hayyyyy.. :D

enough is enough..

i don't know why i'm doing this. i don't even know what pushed me to write. it's been a long long long while since i've done something like this and i think i actually forgot how to write--considering that that was one of my passions. this i tell you: whenever i write like this, it's either i'm perfectly happy.. or extremely sad. i guess i'm more of the latter right now..

there are a thousand thoughts squirming in my head right now and i just can't seem to find the right words to put in here. i caught myself reminiscing my life in grade school and high school while i was in front of my computer chatting with Raffy. i even had the chance of opening up to him some excerpts of the life that i chose to limit within myself. i may be all too well whenever you'd see me but there are quite a number of things that're exclusively contained in me that i don't normally pour in to other people. you see, 'you think you know me, but you've got no idea..' Carmy's right when she made a write-up for me in our CLE project during our 2nd year.. i'm a very reserved individual. there's much much more to me than what i choose to reveal to everybody. i don't even know at this point in time if anyone in this world has reached out to me to get to know the real me. no.. not a single soul has dared to do that. i don't know why.. i just wish someone knows me like i do myself.

there goes my life again.. crash. whew.. how could it be so complicated?.. when all you ever wanted is to be happy and contented..

after my last failed relationship.. i told myself that i would not allow myself to be caught in the lovebug--at least while i'm not yet completely whole again. i promised myself that i would pick up my broken pieces the best that i possibly could. ONLY.. i guess that's just too hard to accomplish. it's not that i'm not yet over him--it's not THAT. there are far more inexplainable reasons why i couldn't actually regain my old self. for one, i wasn't able to keep my promise.. that is why everything fell apart. i found myself in crush with someone but i only got frustrated. so stupid of me to engage myself in such when i'm fully aware that i wasn't prepared to be in it. i hate it simply when i don't know how to act around a certain someone. it just sucks.. that is why i told myself that i have to leave it all at that. i decided to drop everything off before it turns into something irreversible. i don't wanna be falling out of this so i think it better to stop this nonsense. i like him but that's just the way it is. can't do more about it.. i just hope i can live up to this.

forgive me for posting this. the melancholy of it all..

oh well, i wrote this after watching 'My Sassy Girl' for the first time last night. it was such a funny movie.. but i didn't expect to cry.. i was sobbing alone in front of the t.v.. i was deeply touched.. and i feel so lovesick.. :

T.G.I.F.

i had my toenails done before i went home--just wanted to reward myself for the week since i got through another one alive.

i actually find blogging these days a pretty hard thing to do coz i don't have any more time to spare to gather up my thoughts and type away.. i only get to post when i'm in cybernook.. good thing it's friday night--at least i hope to finish a good one this time. hehe..

anyways.. i just love Fridays. at least for this term.. haha, i get to spend it with some of my barkada and blockmates.. and Cheese, haven't you noticed? lagi tayong magkasama pag Friday--along with Tensh? hehehe.. i hope to spend it with you guys for the rest of teh term. *hugs*

i got to bond with Cheese at SJ (the bench outside z2).. haha! we talked about our crushes.. and our lovelives.. hehehe, as if i have one! but just the same we talked and laughed to our heart's content.. *i love you Cheese!* sobrang i was so happy kasi it's been a long time since nag-usap kami ng ganon. *sigh* and super sumakit talaga tummy ko (and take note: my abs were hurting kaya hirap akong tumawa. kainez na wheel barrow and warm-up yan.. hahaha!) kakatawa dahil sa mga jokes na binabasa ni Cheese from my phone. uber benta talaga sa kanya.. haha! kaya kita love eh.. kaya yung resolution ko ngayon: kumain ng banana to ease the muscle pains sa body ko. hahaha! *saging talk*

i already submitted my shifting application to the vice dean's office this morning.. my Gawd, buti pa yung vice chair ng Psychology department ang bait.. she even wished me luck. as for the people in my college, *sigh* i just hope next time you treat your students nicely, okay? or should i say talk to 'em nicely. we need you and vice versa. hoooo.. iniz lang siguro talaga ako sa academic assistant namin. ang sungit kasi.. naturingan pang "academic assistant" eh. grrrrness! that is why i never consulted her nung nag-pa-process ako ng shifting requirements ko. kakairita siya eh. oh well..

i watched CARS a while ago with the fam, but i didn't finish it. hehe.. dvd naman eh, i can always play it. :P hayyyyy.. all i want now is a pair of new sneakers and those korean movies i saw in Ruins last week. =) haha, i swear i have to get my hands on those! :P

grabe.. tomorrow GK Congress @ Ultra.. all heads ARE EXPECTED to attend.. diba? :P haha, gising na naman ng maaga.. pero excited naman ako at the same time. i'll get to see most of them na naman. woohoo!!

*toinks

only one word to describe me these days: BUSY.

it's been 4 weeks since school started and i've been drowned with a lot of.. err.. school stuff. well, come to think of it, my burden is still light since i've been taking floating subjects only--hey, my block is on with their majors already. i'm working on my shifting, asamatteroffact, i'm going back to the CCD (center for counseling development) later to seek help on what to write on the damn shifting form. hehe..

add it up to another responsibility for me to fulfill.. i'm already one of the chapter heads in our cluster.. Emman's my partner.. so yeah, i just hope i can juggle all these work in coordination.. i really really need all your support since this is a new thing for me. so help me God. :D

anyways.. know what, i almost cried myself to sleep last night. i dunno.. maybe i felt so hopeless and down. i don't know what i got myself into.. i actually told PJ that i need to get him out of my system before THIS turns into something big. gawd.. it's just so hard to accept that you have a huge question mark pasted right in front of your face because you have no idea what to do or not to do. you don't know if what you're feeling is reciprocated or not. you surround yourself with a thousand questions and still, you find yourself in question as to why you're in such a state. *deeep sigh*

okay, just forget it. x_x

:D

here are some of the pics at sacramento. check out my multiply if ya wanna see the rest! :D

pose na!

assembly at SMB! wacky

rappelling!!!

asan ba kasi yung camera??!

boom Emman, take that!

water trekking!

WATERRRFALLLS!

one helluva weekend!

Event(s): YFC-SB2 Summer outing and Natasha's Birthday. hahahaha!!!
Destination: Sacramento Valley Resort, Tanay Rizal
ETD: 800 hours.

grabe.. to tell you the truth, i wasn't able to sleep well the night before the outing. i was so busy answering "a lot" of text messages from people greeting me a happy birthday.. i'm not complaining though, haha.. :P so yeah, i think was only able to get 3 hours of sleep before waking up and finalizing the stuff that i was suppose to bring with me to Sacramento. Sobrang ayoko pang gumising ng 6am coz antok na antok pa ko.. but then again, hindi pwedeng ma-late for the assembly at SMB! I was still forced to wake up by my annoying alarm.. nakakairita kasi yung sound kaya sa sobrang inis gumising nalang ako para I-stop siya. I immediately went to Simon's room to wake him up. and then, I fixed myself.. before leaving, dumating na si Mama.. she went to pampanga kasi to attend a wake.. they greeted me a happy birthday then left for bicutan.. buong fam parin kami noh? Haha.. kulet. When we got there, grabe ang dami na ring tao. Hahaha! Puro birthday greetings yung natanggap ko then niloloko nila ko na libre daw sa stopover.. hahaha! Asa.. hindi nga ako binigyan ng 'rents ko ng money eh, pano ako manlilibre.. kung meron siguro, I'd love to treat all of 'em. :D

then nung malapit na kaming umalis, ako naman si hanap sa crush ko coz 8 am na wala pa siya.. Just when I was starting to feel bad.. dumating siya. *sigh.. what a relief talaga* hahahah! I told them na kumpleto na birthday ko since kasama siya sa outing. Weeee! :D and then we're off. Sa Pregio ako sumakay.. uber init sa loob ng van even though ang lakas na ng aircon, sobrang taas kasi ng sun last Sat eh promise.. non-stop kwentuhan parin and kulitan on the way.. mejo naligaw-ligaw pa kami.. ang tagal talaga ng trip na yun.. lol! Kala nga naming lahat wala nang stopover.. naglolokohan na kami sa loob na kahit sa carinderia nalang kasi sobrang gutom na gutom na kaming lahat. Lahat ng madaanan namin, laging may humihirit ng stopover eh. Katawa talaga.. good thing nung mej malapit na kami, tumigil na kami sa Jollibee--dunno where nga lang. Haha.. basta aion.. nag-take out nalang kaming lahat to save time.. pagbalik sa car, ubos na yung fries ko.. so kamusta naman yun diba? Hahaha.. kinain ko na rin yung burger ko sa van para tapos na ko. Tas nakakatawa si Leonard, ang tagal talaga niya mag-decide kung kakain ba siya or hindi. Hanggang sa nakarating na kami ng Sacramento, hindi pa siya nakakapag-start. Hahaha!

When we got to the place, we went to the session hall immediately. Dun na nag-lunch yung mga hindi pa nakakakain.. and then, nagstart na yung activity with a prayer.. teaching of songs yung una. I admit, 1/2 SW ako nung time na yun.. hindi ko na sasabihin kung bakit.. basta, as a few of you might have noticed, I was at the far back of the hall nung buong time na teaching of songs. Buti nalang, na-convince ako ni Raffie mag-participate afterwards even though na hindi pa ko masyado okay.. after that naman, I was thankful na bumuti na pakiramdam ko. Sabi ni Raffie, dun nalang daw ako sa team nila and so I joined them. Hahaha! Team HHWWMPSSP! In long terms, Holding Hands While Walking May Pa-Swing Swing Pa! Si Leonard nag-suggest niyan eh. Katuwa talaga.. nag-isip pa nga sina Leean ng cheer for our team. Lolz! After the teaching.. pumunta na kami sa barracks para dalin yung bags namin. Si Sheila yung katabi ko sa bed and sa taas kami para may fan. Waha.. :P nag-change na kami ng clothes kasi pupunta na kami dun sa adventure camp. nag-shorts nalang kami ni She kasi mainit.. when we returned to the session hall, nasa labas na lahat sila, all set for the walk to the camp. and then, just when we thought na maaliwalas na yung weather, biglang umulan. Mi gad.. ang lakas talaga.. at first hesitant pa kaming mabasa kasi hello, naka-sneakers pa ko. Mahirap na.. pero no choice left eh. We had to go on with the activity kahit umuulan sooooo.. kahit na mahal ko ang sapatos ko, naki-join narin ako sa kanila, bahala nalang si batman. :P by groups pa rin yung thing, we're gonna race to the adventure camp together and of course, first one to the place wins, duh.. hahaha, nahuli yung team namin! Puro kasi kami kwento on the way eh.. pero it's ayt, masaya naman.

When we got there, guess what? Slowly nag-subside yung rain. So kamusta naman yun diba? Talagang binasa muna kami.. hay nako.. :) anyways, so nagstart na yung first task namin: Rappelling. I suppose self-explanatory naman na yun diba? Hehe.. all of us I think joined. Haha, t'was my 2nd time to do that and good thing hindi nako natakot just like the first. Nakakatuwa nga coz mabilis nakong nakapag-rappell pababa.. astig.. and then next stop was yung Rope/Obstacle Course. Kami yung last group so we devised a strategy for our team while waiting for our turn. Gumawa pa ng chant sina Leean eh.. ang kulit talaga! Tas nung kami nah, my God.. ang hirap iwasan yung putik ha! I got through it without a single scratch on my legs pero grabe, ang sakit talaga kasi hindi naman ako gumapang eh. Iniwas ko talaga yung knees ko from the mud. Hay.. so yun, I think we managed to pull off a 7-minute something for our team. Not bad after all.. mabilis na yun considering we were 12 all in all.

Whew.. after that quite muddy experience, off we were to the pool!!! Haha, hindi ako nakatiis na maligo even though magsi-swimming rin.. ang dumi dumi ko na kasi.. want my clothes for evidence.. uhh never mind. Haha! So yeah.. may games rin sa pool, and nakakatawang nakakaloko siya. Laging tinutulak si Paulo sa pool pag time na niyang mag-explain kaya tuloy nagkatagal-tagal kami sa game.. haha! Oh well, it turned out okay naman. Ang saya lang talaga. :D

Umahon na ko agad sa pool after a couple of minutes after the game coz mejo lumalamig and gumagabi na rin.. I took a bath yet again coz I couldn't stand the smell of the chlorine on my skin.. chaka para fresh for the night ahead na rin. Haha.. at least wala akong kaagaw sa c.r. kasi most of them were still in the pool.

Hmmm.. Entertainment-night presentations.. we grouped ourselves for the nth time to talk about what we were suppose to present in front for the E-night. Grabe, feeling ko naging jelly yung mga utak namin coz almost lahat kami low-batt. Sina Efraim and E.J. lang ata yung so full of energy at that time. Hahaha! Nag-settle kami sa spoof ng Ordertaker by Parokya ni Edgar. Ginawan nila ng lyrics about Margaux and Paulo, our beloved team leaders. Hahaha!

THEN, the sharing. Sharers were Abby, Nhica, Leonard, Janelle and Migi. Well nagshare rin sina Paulo and Kate about their camp experiences.. I volunteered to share on the spot kaya siguro na mental block ako while I was in front. Grabe talaga, feeling ko antok na antok na sila kaya nakatunganga nalang sila sakin.. hahaha! Oh well, ganon talaga.. :P

Mejo sabaw nga lang yung presentation naming kasi nga hindi masyado prepared.. as I've said sabaw kami.. sorry na. :)) hands down lang talaga sa team nina Emvin, grabe, sumakit talaga tummy ko kakatawa sa skit niyo. \m/

So there.. after E-night, short praise and worship. Nag-suggest kami ng Sardines after pero kami rin yung hindi sumama coz we soon realized na pagod na rin talaga kami. Woohoo.. bumalik nalang kami ng barracks para mag-T.U.B.E! first nag-usap usap kami ni Raffie and Emman.. and then with Cudz, Karen, Leean, Maix, Sheila and Margaux. Haha, that was the first time na nakausap ko sila ng ganon.. galing.. oh well, I promise whatever we talked about last Saturday night will stay with me. walang lalabas.. swear. :D love yah gurls.. :D

Actually di ko rin natagalan yung pag-uusap naming kasi sobrang pagod and sleepy na ko.. umaga na nun eh.. so yun, nag-beauty sleep na rin kami ni She para mawala pagod namin at the least.. :D whew.. :D

For some reason, nagising ako ng maaga. Grabe, sobrang antok na antok pa ko nun, naramdaman ko kasing may mga naglalakad sa baba.. light sleeper kasi ako so yun, uneasy na yung sleep ko afterwards. And then just when I thought na malapit na kong makatulog ulit, biglang may batang sumigaw sa labas ng "Good Morning, TIKTILAOK!!!" grabe, akala ko ako lang ung nakarinig, biglang pagtaas ko ng head ko, sabay sabay kaming nagising! Hahaha! Hindi ko alam kung maiiniz ako sa bata or matatawa eh.. ah bsta.. I went back to sleep in the hope na makakatulog pa ko.. I think I did, pero nagising rin ako agad kasi lumalakas yung kwentuhan nung guys eh, so aion, since hindi ko na ma-take, gumising nalang ako and pinanood ko sila. Hehe.. actually nakakaantok panoorin yung mga tulog pa kasi sobrang deep talga yung sleep nila. I guess nasa REM sleep sila at that time.. wahaha! Don't mind me.. bsta.. :))

8am yung breakfast pero it took us soooooo long to get down of our beds. Haha.. pagdating nga naming sa session hall konti palang yung tao, mostly girls pa. Tulog mantika yung mga guys eh.. :)) weird lang nung tocino, puro fats. Haha.. oh well, that's life. Labo..

yung schedule ng mass was at 9am.. so I took a bath, fixed myself and then umalis na kami. All along I thought sa session hall lang yung mass.. yun pala, mas malayo pa sa adventure camp!!! grabe, hassle talaga, naka-flipflops pa ko kasi hindi ko naman alam na ganon kalayo--approximately 1 kilometer. As in pawis pawis na ko kaka-ligo ko lang. Hayyy.. kakatapos lang nung homily when we got to the church/chapel. As in we couldn't help but pant after that uber long walk to where we were at that time. After the mass.. of course, balik na sa session hall. Sobrang tagal talaga yung trip pabalik kasi ang hirap maglakad paakyat! Buti nalang, may stopovers kami—for peechures!!! Hahaha! Actually that's one of the reasons why kami yung last na nakabalik.. wahahah!

Pagbalik, konting rest lang and then lunch na naman. Ang kulit nung chicken curry eh, hindi lasang curry. :P weird but the taste was not that bad. :P and then, nag-ask sina Emvin kung sino sasama sa cave exploration after lunch. Yung initial decision ko was to stay kasi sobrang pagod na ko after all nang nilakad namin. Pero since most of them would be going, I realized I didn't want to get left behind.. besides, baka once lang mangyari yun so game na ko!

Guess how many we were inside the Starex! 18! Hahaha! Promise nagkasya kami.. literal na sardines kami eh.. sobrang laughtrip pa habang nasa road kasi may dance steps pa sina Emvin, Migi and Emman in front. Haha pati si Emvin sumasayaw kahit na siya yung nagda-drive, promise! :)) aliw talaga pero swear ang sakit ng tiyan ko afterwards. Lolz!

Mej malayo yung trip pero ayos lang. Pagdating dun, cave exploration. Pitch black, walang light.. buti nalang may candles na pinrovide ata nung mga guide namin. Anyways.. it was a pretty short trip inside the cave. It was fun, promise. :)

After nung cave exploration, mejo bitin siya eh kasi sandali lang.. so we pushed through with the water trekking papunta sa waterfalls. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! As in speechless ako sa trekking na yun! Hahahah! Promise! Ang saya kasi tawa kami ng tawa! Hirit sila ng hirit.. :P tapos may time na biglang may sumigaw ng "Picture!!!" so kami naman harap sa camera.. I reached for the nearest tree--bamboo.. what I didn't notice was that ang dami palang little thorns yung branch niya.. eh hinawakan ko talaga siya. Pagkatanggal ko ng kamay ko, ang daming nakatusok. Waaaaaah! Natulala ako tas slowly ko siyang tinatanggal one by one.. pero feeling ko may naiiwan everytime na may natatanggal ako.. tapos nakita ako nina Leean and Leonard.. sabi ni Leonard, tweezers pang-tanggal ko.. I told him na meron ako pero nasa bag.. tas bigla niyang sinabi na may 2 coins siya, yun nalang daw gamitin namin. Haha.. oh well.. :P

Dumaan kami sa sooper daming bato.. tas may stream rin.. and of course, may mud! Hahaha! Nagka-basaan rin.. hay nako.. mej ang dumi pa nga nung water na pinang-basa nila.. pero wala eh, ganon talaga.

I was so relieved nung nakarating na kami dun sa place.. sobrang gusto ko ng water pero walang store or anything. Meron lang cotton candy, scramble, and juice.. as if naman kayang mag-quench ng thirst diba? Anyways.. so yun, ang ganda nung falls! Sobra nga lang dami ng tao.. at first ang balak namin, hindi kami magsi-swimming.. dun lang dapat kami sa rocks.. pero wala rin eh, plan ruined kasi pinagbabasa nila kami! Since basa na rin lang kami ni She, nag-join narin kami sa kanila. Ang lamig ng water promise! Pero ang sarap dun sa may falls talaga, mejo warm yung water.. basta parang massage eh.. :D nakakatawa nga lang yung ibang nilalamig, nanginginig yung mga lips eh. Hehe.. yihee, you know who you are. :P

Grabe, mejo nalibang nga ata kami sa falls kaya hindi namin napansin yung time. Mga past 4pm na ata kami nakaalis dun. As usual, siksikan galore na naman sa starex! Pero this time, fiesta na kami sa food! Hehe.. and of course, hindi nawala ung dance number nilang 3 sa harap. :D

5pm na kami nakabalik.. so yeah, quick bath lang yung ginawa namin kasi we're running out of time na. Nung all-set na lahat ng stuff, ni-load na namin sa cars yung bags namin. We had our last meeting at the session hall para dun sa last batch of awards. And then prayer.. and then, time of departure for manila!

On the way home, sobrang antok na talaga ako but then hindi ako makatulog kasi naririnig ko yung kwentuhan nila sa likod. Haha.. tapos ang lamig pa sa van sobra kaya tuloy restless ako the whole trip. Buti nalang nagkakwentuhan na kaming lahat about certain movies--that was way better. Kahit papano nawala yung pagod ko.. tapos nagulat nalang kami nasa Ortigas na kami agad. Ang galing ang bilis ng byahe.. :D

We arrived at SM Bicutan at around 8pm.. haha! Ang gugulo nila pagkababa ng auto.. nagtatalunan and everything.. so yun.. sinundo kami ni Mama and then that's it..

Grabe.. I can't believe na nagkasya lahat ng nangyari in just 1 1/2 days.. sobrang full of laughters, sweat and teamwork yung weekend na 'toh.. it was SO FAR THE BEST SUMMER OUTING I'VE EVER BEEN IN MY WHOLE YFC LIFE. Promise! If only I could go back and relive those moments, I would.. but I could only look back at them.. sobrang thank you to EVERYONE who were present during the outing. You really made my birthday ONE OF THE MOST MEMORABLE DAYS OF MY LIFE.. I LOVE YOU ALL AND I WOULDN'T TRADE YOU GUYS FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD. YOU HAVE MY WORD FOR THAT.

CONGRATULATIONS FOR A VERY SUCCESSFUL SUMMAH OUTING! I LOVE YOU SB2! *MWAHHUGS*