Rough, Huff, Boom

Rough: a rough start slightly altered my good mood this morning. it's one of those moments that i wanted some consolation but knew there's no way i could get it. SO,

Huff: it's the only thing i can do, before going home that is. deep breath and go home with a heavy heart. arrived in one piece, ate my so-so lunch in the form of mushroom soup, and tried to rest my head to get this mind of mine off some things. THEN,

Boom: just when i least expected it, that text message all the way from chicago made me. all worries, sadness, bitterness.. gone. :)

The drama will soon be over.

3 more days, and yes, my drama will be over. I also found a lot of exciting stuff to look forward to next week and in the coming:

• the week-long job fair. actually i'm eyeing on globe and cannot wait to see the familiar faces that i've worked with during my internship. i know they will be more than glad to accept my resume. i so miss working there! ;)
• biochemistry and biochem lab. i'm surprised i'm getting the hang of the lessons and i wish lab is twice a week. mwahaha i love it!
  
• the unsure date with babe. we haven't talked about this for a while but i really do hope this would push through since we certainly have to make up for all the lost time in the past month.
• the LEAP. i got photography techniques and i'm crossing my fingers hoping it wouldn't be a total waste of time. i haven't attended leap for 3 years that's why i'm pretty excited to do this once again. :)
  
• CSA college days. i swore to myself i need to return to my alma mater before i graduate college. i miss bumming around there. :) anyone up for a trip down memory lane?
• mom's and joey's birthdays; which are a.k.a. valentine's day and the day after. and speaking of valentine's, i don't like roses. it annoys me. ;)

That's about it. I can't get enough of Bolt, which is why I might watch it again later. Ugh I can't wait to watch the current episode of GG. Me hates Ms. Carr. *die die die*

Taking a break

I've said so many times before that I needed a good break from the things that have been stressing me out, and finally I'm taking that step towards it. Hopefully I get to detox and destress during this weekend without all the hassles of Manila. And what I want is to forget, even for a little while, some things that do bother me.

Canyon Woods, here I come! :D

....

One thing to know for sure whether I am extremely unhappy is that I listen to Hillsongs and I tend to be obsessive compulsive in one way or another. I didn't think of that until a while ago when I couldn't hold on any longer and my tear ducts gave me away. I'm really tired. And desperate for something good to happen.

I hope I'm not yet beyond repair. I still want to smile after all these..

...

I used to be good at pretending. Especially pretending to be happy, elated, and free of worries.

I wonder what went wrong..

I need to be good at this again.

Never Again.

I'm back to where I started. There goes the bitterness creeping in again. I just don't know how long I can hold on to this. I don't know if it's only the moment that calls for this but still.. it's tiring already.

Never again will I wait for you anymore. Maybe it's time you come running after me.

On being alone and missing you.

It's been quite a while since I last posted something sensible and worth reading here. Mostly just came from my multiply site, which were co-posted here, from there. Well it has been 2 weeks or so since he left for Chicago and it hasn't been easy all throughout. Though I know he's coming back in a couple of weeks, there still is the emptiness each and every day that only he could fill in. The first week was the worst of all because I wasn't prepared at all for the set-up. I was never a fan of long distance relationships and now I realized why I didn't like the idea at all. Sure there were the occasional emails and chatting over y!m, but come to think of it, you never know what actually is happening over there. I used to have so many fears and I somewhat had the difficulty to voice that out in the proper way that's why it always didn't sound right. During our christmas and new year celebrations, I was always in a constant hurry to get hold of my laptop and internet to check for new messages. It really wasn't easy. Raffy was right, You never know how hard it is until you experience it yourself. But somehow, it gets better. Maybe I got a bit too overwhelmed, which is why we got off at a rough start. And now that I'm getting used to it, I found a few ways to get my mind off the things that usually makes me sad.

19 more days to go until I can smother you with kisses again, babe. I just can't.. wait. :)